GODPLAY EXCERPT

CONTEXT:

I wrote and produced plays with the Serious Theatre Collective for several years, and this was one of our more ambitious ones. The premise was several Gods are standing trial for accidentally destroying the universe, and the audience is the jury who determines which God is responsible and will be turned into a mortal as punishment.

The big challenge was the second act. At the end of the first act, the audience would make their decision, and depending on who they picked, the 2nd act would change to accommodate it, as the chosen God would undergo conversion to mortalhood.

This essentially meant we had to design a branching narrative for a live show, which was one hell of a task, as there is only so much you can ask actors to memorize and recite live. 

The way we solved this was by giving Faith (the character who would train them for mortaldom) the same lines no matter who had been picked, but varying the God character lines to fit the scene.

HOW TO READ THIS SCENE:

Four Gods are NOT in the scene, only Faith and the Sentenced God. All of the God lines are there so you can see how the conversation flows depending on who has been picked. But one way to read the scene would be just FAITH and GOD 1, then just FAITH and GOD 2, etc. If you prefer, here is a PDF version you can read.

Act 2, Scene 2:  first Faith scene

Lights up on FAITH and the newly mortal GOD (NOTE: all lines just listed for ease of understanding).   

FAITH

Welcome. So, I’ve been appointed by the Council to take you through your trial-mandated mortality counseling sessions. (sighs) Usually this is a Caretaker job, but mine is out on PTO, and we are short staffed soooooo, looks like it will be me. (pause) So. How are you feeling?

GOD 1

Fine. I’m fine.  My chances for promotion have all but disappeared, but I could probably make my way up in a mortal world, right?  They have structure.  They have levels?  And jobs? Well, I suppose you’ll get to that. Sorry, I’m a verbal processor and when I get nervous I just. Keep on talking. And talking. Until I just am…. done. (pause) Sorry.  

 GOD 2 throws chair to the side.

GOD 3 (he is clearly not fine)

I’m fine.   

GOD 4

Confused.  This is not at all like I thought it would be.  I had a 75 percent chance of not being here and now...what is even “here”?  I can’t grasp this.  (motions to Faith’s room)

FAITH

Well, this is standard procedure for this type of mortality sentence.  I’m going to take you through the basics of being mortal to better integrate you into whatever universe we choose to send you.  

GOD 1

Well do I have any say in THAT matter?  I mean, how much control does a mortal have?  I know they die eventually but they do have some say in how long, right?  I mean with the right decisions a mortal could live a couple hundred perpetuities—or, wait, what do they call them?  Anyway, I’m doing it again—tell me everything, go in order if you can. The more linear the better.

GOD 2

In case my throwing the chair was lost on you, I’m not keen on cooperating with you very much.  Fuck you.  Fuck this sentence!  Fuck this program! And fuck the Council!  Let’s just get it over with so I can spend an eternity of being a shitty weak mortal. 

GOD 3

That’s fine.  I think I can get used to this.  I’ve spent eternities in G-54. So, with a couple more I should be able to figure things out.

GOD 4

Listen, I’m gonna need some help here. Will I get some sort of manual when I’m sent there?  And how many eternities do I have to figure this all out? 

FAITH

Ok, first thing:  time works differently for us.  We talk in terms of eternities and endlessness, but the average mortal life span is measured in days, months and years. 

GOD 1

So…so years?  What can you possibly accomplish in years? They’re finite. There’s got to be another way.  Can I ask for a retrial? I can’t do this!

GOD 2

That’s nothing!  No wonder they’re so stupid!  How can you possibly get anything done!?  

(overturns the chair a 2nd time, annoyed it doesn’t break)

What the hell is this made of?

GOD 3

Oh.  I guess that’s right.  I did see a lot of them dying.  It was terrible. I kept trying to lengthen their timespan. That’s not enough time for them, for anyone. All the things they could’ve done if we just fixed that flaw…(breaks down sobbing) 

GOD 4

(does a quick calculation) That’s only...I can’t even comprehend THAT!  I’m gonna need more time!